As many of you know, I love movies, and I am a huge Bollywood movie “buff” (if you will). Yes, I was born and raised in “Amreeka,” but I’m as desi as one can get for not having born in the Motherland. Now that I’ve unnecessarily explained myself, here’s a disclaimer: THIS. IS. MY. OPINION. When someone states their opinion – even if they state it as fact (as I am about to and always will) – that doesn’t mean it is fact kinda like how your opinions aren’t facts either (I know, crazy). They are this beautiful subjective thing, so no one needs to feel any kind of personal affront knowing that I didn’t like something that you may have liked.
Also, my feelings about the movie do not negate how much I love Shahid Kapoor as an actor and that he did a fantastic portraying what he was asked to in his role as the lead in “Kabir Singh.”
Now that we got that out of the way *eye roll*…
First off, I know that many people feel that movies have a social and ethical responsibility towards humanity since – particularly in South Asian culture – they are so influential to the social condition (albeit disturbing, nothing is more influential to culture and society than Bollywood films and celebrities as the latter are considered demigods of sorts), and I believe this to a degree but with a big fat caveat. I, personally, do not want movies to only reflect a desired utopia that doesn’t exist; instead, I want them to reflect what actually ails society (whether that be rape, domestic violence, addiction, corruption, etc.) – aka REAL LIFE – and I say this as a domestic violence survivor.
I also say the above thinking of Bollywood movies like Lajja, Prem Granth, or Vaastav. Lajja portrayed the suffering of 5 women so beautifully and painfully and – even though one character (Jackie Shroff’s) caused his wife incredible suffering – he evolved as a person and we were able to accept her forgiveness… Prem Granth was the story of survival after rape (& redemption and justice in the wake of it)… Vaastav depicts a troubled man who gets caught up in the world of gangs and meets his demise. &, yes, there are many movies where I can find the (technically) “bad guy(s)” to be endearing like Sarkar or the Don films, but – of all the thousands of Bollywood movies I must have seen over my lifetime – no story has ever pained me more, because Kabir Singh was simply an AWFUL HUMAN BEING (with NO redeeming qualities), and he was portrayed as a hero who gets his happy ending in spite of how much suffering and harm he caused others.
The movie is beyoooond problematic in its portrayal of misogyny and toxic masculinity , because… 1) It makes no attempt – not in the fine print disclaimers at the beginning or in any kind of feigned attempt during the film or after – to suggest that the character has any awareness that he has MAJOR ISSUES or that anyone else in his life thinks he isn’t a GOOD PERSON (having a drinking problem is one thing, but being a psychopathic asshole is another). 2) Kabir Singh is the epitome of a narcissistic sociopath who is a classic ABUSER. He abuses his standing in the school, and he abuses his family, friends, and the woman he purportedly loves.
3) Accordingly, there was absolutely nothing endearing or charming about their “love story” (quotes because it wasn’t that); he EFFING SAW HER ONCE AND CLAIMED HER AS HIS LIKE A GODDAMN OBJECT. So much so that he went in front of a class to announce that she was “his” (“woh meri bandi hain”) and threatened that there would be consequences for anyone who doesn’t abide by his proclamation. He knew nothing about her nature, character, values, beliefs, quirks, interests, or ANYTHING. HE JUST SAW HER ONE F*CKING TIME.
In 2019, I really would have hoped that we would have evolved past this storyline that was the entire premise of all Bollywood movies in the 80s and 90s (perhaps even well before); basically, the notion was that a “boy” would spot a “girl” and – upon first glance – fall immediately “in love” (like “I’m going to marry her style”) and then he would harass/stalk her until she magically fell in love with him. INDIAN DUDES PRESENT DAY still BELIEVE THIS SHIT. They believe that they can fall in love at first glance and that the person they now desire is “theirs,” and some even go as far as to throw acid in girls’ faces when rejected because they feel this deep entitlement to the object of their desire. That garbage is not romantic; it is harmful and dysfunctional and perpetuates all kinds of fucked up shit
4) Preeti is a painfully naive girl who has no life experience, has never been liked by a dude, and has likely never liked a dude either; however, she reflects a very typical desi girl beginning college: innocent and unknowing; I have no issues with her until later. Because of the school hierarchy in which Kabir Singh is some kind of demigod who is both admired and feared by all, he can walk in and out of classes like he owns the school and direct students at his whim, so he basically makes Preeti fall in love with him by commanding her to leave her college classes. & it is simply being wanted and “chosen” by Kabir that makes Preeti fall in love; again, there is nothing else revealed about him as a person except that he is obsessive, possessive, and controlling. (NEWS FLASH LADIES WHO THINK OTHERWISE: THAT IS NOT LOVE).
5) I’m not sure if we are supposed to find all of his “special attention,” focus, and obsession to be romantic, but it isn’t. It is disturbing and appalling, and what is even more disturbing and appalling is that all of Kabir’s friends are so oddly devoted to and in love with him that none of them ever thinks, “Oh, hell no. This person is so effed and not a good person, so I’m out.” Instead, when he is about to beat a person (perhaps to their death), his friends help out. 6) Ragging (hazing) culture is portrayed as some kind of normal, and we are supposed to find it “sweet” that Kabir saves Preeti from being hazed as a “fresher” (freshman). Ermm… no, it would have been sweet if Kabir had some kind of moral compass, understood that hazing was a shit (& illegal thing to do), and tried to spare everyone, but Kabir Singh is a garbage human with no redeeming qualities.
7) Kabir Singh does not evolve at all as a person, because – even though he admits to DOING ALL OF HIS SURGERIES DRUNK & ON COCAINE and gets granted a free vacay by daddy – he is fundamentally the same exact person, and we see that when he sees Preeti sitting in the park. Here is the opportunity for the filmmakers to show Kabir reflect on all of his actions and wrongdoing and have some moment of reckoning and deep regret and remorse, but NOPE. He sits with his homies and once again proclaims that (now married and pregnant Preeti) is still his.
8) Dumb AF Preeti – in spite of ALL THE TORTURE and hell she was put through – takes him back with zero real consequences. Her biggest question to Kabir was “how did he live without her for so long?” (****aweeeee, NO. NO. NO.**** she left her husband after 3 days and proclaims that she “never let him touch her” which means the baby is Kabir’s), and I think we’re supposed to find this so romantic, but they are both just crazy a$$ ego-maniacs who could have both put each other out of their respective misery (& US out of OURS) SO. MUCH. SOONER. 8) Oh, & I forgot to mention that Kabir HITS Preeti, chases down his maid to beat her, and almost rapes a woman (who he pulled out a knife on when she wouldn’t take off her clothes and satisfy him).
All that being said, the movie, itself, just effing SUCKED. I have watched many movies that have disturbed me – to my core – about human behavior or that did not have an ending that I wanted (Like “Water”), but there was some kind of character development, story, and plot. Even if there have been problematic characters like Sanjay Dutt in Khalnayak or Vaastav or Amitabh Bachan in the Sarkar films (I mean, even if he does good, he’s still a criminal), the film makes us fall in love with these characters and reconcile their problems while being able to understand why they are adored and loved.
NONE of these things were present in “Kabir Singh.” Legit, beyond the first hour of him “procuring Preeti as his,” (again, NOTHING romantic, endearing, or charming about how that all happened), the rest of the film is just 2 hours of him drinking himself into multiple comas over his “loss” of Preeti (which he is the absolute cause of, because – for supposedly being as “smart” as he was – he was a big fat dumba$$ for thinking that the way you “get permission” to marry a girl is by being an arrogant AF asshole to her dad). I am not a callous person and get sentimental & emo rather easily, but I did not have a single feeling in that film (other than annoyance for my time being wasted), and I cannot tell you how many times I wanted him to fall off the balcony, get hit by a truck, or just not wake-up. There was also some weird obsession by the film’s creators with Kabir’s DICK. I kid you not… from the ice on DICK scene… to the URINATING ON SELF scene… to the random AF shaving of crotch while high AF and cutting himself scene, I kept thinking “WHYYYYY??? Are we supposed to find this hot or sexy or funny?” because it wasn’t. It was disturbing, vile, and torturous. Legit, I have never checked my phone more to check the time (the first time, I nearly died when realizing TWO WHOLE HOURS were left) wanting it to just be over.
I’m certain that nothing I’m saying hasn’t already been said in the wake of this horrific film, but I hope that the creators of the film and actors are being socially responsible and post-film DISCLAIMERING THE F*CK out of the garbage they just put out there and that some sad people will inevitably think depicted something endearing, positive, or “cool” because of the stupid AF “happy ending” where the 2 randomly bump into one another, get married, everyone’s families are like “let’s just pretend none of that happened,” and they live happily ever after.
Anywho, that is all from me. those of you who have seen it or those who have decided not to see it based on what they heard, I would love to hear your thoughts over on my #KabirSinghWasGarbage post on my Smita Shares page.
Thanks always for stopping by,
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