For those of you who have known me over the years, you know that I am the “queen of disclaimers,” and I always say that they are #nevernotnecessary, because, thus far, they have never proven not to be. There is, legit, never NOT someone who lacks a sense of humor/does not understand sarcasm and, therefore, cannot take a joke and takes everything literally thereby resulting in next level butt hurtedness (*real phrase* – just go with it). There is also never NOT someone who does not understand that what I share is simply my OP-IN-I-ON and that I am not remotely suggesting that I am “right” or that they are “wrong” simply because we view things differently (the number of people who want to #comeatme on the regular is truly remarkable and, sometimes, alarming while always being amusing); rest assured that asserting my opinion in a confident manner (read: as if it was the truth) does not make it the truth. Finally, there is never NOT someone who does not interpret my having the gall to express myself unapologetically as my thinking that I am “better than” or “think I know better than” or some other effery.
*News Flash* I do not think I am better than anyone and, for reals, I do not know shit. I feel rather lost on most days and am just trying to figure out this whole life thing as (I believe) most people are; however, contrary to many, I actually share my struggles and not just my highlights reel as I no longer have any effs to give about what other people think and, accordingly, choose to live a self-expressed life. For me, “sharing” is not something I simply “enjoy” doing nor do I share to “get” something, but it is who I AM and what I believe is my higher purpose/calling in life, and my desire – more like compulsion – to share comes from having made a million and four mistakes. Maybe a million and five. I dunno, but A LOT, so I “overshare” as I do simply because my life’s greatest desire is that as many people as possible – particularly young people – be spared from making the same mistakes I did, and, even if they do make them, that those mistakes are understood to be lessons to learn from rather than experiences that derail their lives entirely as they did mine (on more than one occasion, because I used to make the same mistake at least thrice for good measure). *Judges self but quickly forgives for doing the best I could with my level of consciousness at that time*
Anywho… so, the “disclaimer of all disclaimers” includes all of the above and also includes the following which is that there is really very little unique thought left in this world in spite of nearly everyone out there (self-help/development peeps, “gurus” of whatever, coaches of every variety, etc) pretending that they are coming up with “novel” thoughts all the time when, in fact, they are simply thoughts that have been repurposed, repackaged, and repositioned to be sold as “novel” and “life-changing.” Keyword: SOLD, and I will rant about this more in a future post.
For now, please know this: I am – as you are – the sum total of all of my life’s experiences and all of the things I have ever read, watched, and heard before. Where I absolutely know that a notion is someone else’s (who I can attribute to as such), I will do so as I cannot stand people who portray ideas/thoughts/concepts as their own that aren’t which is practically every person on the interwebs nowadays. That being said, there are things in life that I never heard of before and that simply came from a feeling in my heart – for example, how much women overly apologize – and I expressed these thoughts well before I had ever heard anyone else express them and waaaaay before anyone ever wrote any book about “stopping to apologize.” (*rolls eyes* CAN’T STAND HER, but I digress). Therefore, you’ll have to forgive me if I say something that has been said a million times before; it is 10000% sure going to happen as we – as humans – often have common experiences/learnings/viewpoints/lenses.
To continue with the disclaimers, here’s a biggie… I love to curse. This is always an interesting disclaimer, because I know that there are “holier than thou” types who would “like me so much more” (like, people have told me this) if I “didn’t use *foul* language,” but what is funny to me about that is that my language says absolutely nothing about my character, values, or fundamental goodness. What is extra funny is that – while you are thinking someone else may be “good” because of how they speak sans curse words – I can assure you that, unlike that seemingly perfect and proper person, this rough-around-the-edges-unpolished-loves-to-drop-an-F-bomb human would stand for and with you in your life’s most trying times no matter the cost or risk to me. If you can say that in full confidence about those who don’t offend your senses as I do, awesome, but I am done “toning myself down” or dampening who I am authentically to be more broadly pleasing.
Instead, I revel in being narrowly pleasing and forever polarizing. While most people aspire to be liked by the masses (to be able to ultimately, at the root of nearly everything, “sell” to the largest audience) I want to be liked by my people… my like-minded and similar-valued tribe and divergents of this world who have already filtered themselves from the masses and emerged in my life and will continue to do so. I refuse to spend my one and only life aiming to be pleasing or worrying about being liked as I already wasted so much of it doing exactly that. Hate me? Good. That means I’ve pushed your buttons and challenged your thinking. Indifferent or TBD? Awesome, and I appreciate you sticking around to decide. Love me? Thank you, and I will never be able to fully express the depths of my gratitude to those who make me feel seen, heard, and known.
One last thing… Actually, two. I write as I speak, so if you are a “grammar nazi” or feel that I am adulterating the English language, I AM as I have made up my own way of speaking and writing. To me, creative writing is just like art, and there is no one way to do it; I am not looking to be known as a “literary genius” (ermm… because I am the fuuuuurthest thing from one), so #sorrynotsorry if you can’t stand my “style” of writing. I am simply not for you, and that is okay.
& now the actual last thing… my greatest joy in writing has been the conversations that emerge and community that is grown, so please – whether it be on my posts or in private messages – always feel free to reach out. Maybe you’re not there yet in being able to share your personal truth publicly and perhaps you might not ever be, but, sometimes, just saying it aloud to someone knowing that you won’t be judged can be incredibly healing, and there has been nothing more rewarding and meaningful to me than those who trust me to be that person.
K, I think that is enough disclaimers for now, so, on that note… I am stepping into “Smita Shares” (let’s stay connected below!) fully with purpose, passion, and conviction, and I am so deeply honored by and grateful for whoever bears witness to me finally doing the thing that I was always meant to do “when I grew up.”
Stay connected by liking Smita Shares or following me on my personal page (I’m sorry that I cannot become friends with everyone up front, and I’m not saying that it won’t ever happen, but I just require us to connect on a personal level before it does and hope you’d want the same)
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