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Smita Moon

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* Disclosure: Smita Shares is a participant in the Amazon Services LLC Associates Program, an affiliate advertising program designed to provide a means for sites to earn advertising fees by advertising and linking to Amazon properties.  Amazon, in turn, offers a small commission on products sold through their affiliate links. Each of your purchases via our Amazon affiliation links supports my being able to share the things I love (& genuinely personally use and recommend to friends and family) at no additional cost to you

What about sponsored content? 
I do not write sponsored posts.  I want to bring you real, unbiased information.  However, if a post is sponsored by a company, I will disclose this clearly in the beginning of the post. 

As for my social media pages where I use Amazon & other affiliate links for product recommendations, I will include a link to this post, or put “(affiliate link)”, or #ad in the post. 

As I mentioned in my “#DearDesis – The Beginning” post back in January, I am next leveling my sharing of all things related to our (South Asian) community and the impact they have on (at one time, or, at present) “kids” who then grow up to be adults who so deeply struggle to be able to move beyond truly dysfunctional (#notall for those who need it ) parental/community/cultural programming. Please revert to the above post for #allthedisclaimers, but – at this point – I genuinely do not care who I offend. Honestly, it’s kinda the point, because our collectively being “offended” over the profoundly problematic aspects of our culture is absolutely necessary for us to actually move towards things changing because existing as we have for countless generations is simply not working.

How do I know that it is not working? Well, first, because of my own life which I, often in my sharing, offer up as a precautionary tale to spare others from what I experienced (like this sitchu of being held hostage & suffocated after a brief 3-month dating relationship with no love on the table with a sociopath South Asian attorney), and also because – as mentioned in the blog post above – I am in countless South Asian groups where it is so painfully obvious (in particular, by how many people are forced to post anonymously about their unfathomable sufferings) how pervasive some truly dysfunctional, toxic, and harmful “themes” of our culture are.

Today’s theme? DUAL LIVES. MASTER ACTORS. Of all the awful things desi parents/families (as I realize that many are raised in joint families) program their kids with, there is nothing more universal – and, accordingly, harmful – than “log kya sochenge/kahenge” (what will other people think/say). From a very young age, I remember this phrase being used incessantly – in particular, by my mom who (& this will bear repeating for those who will, in *fake outrage*, interpret this as a “betrayal” for me defying the code of silence to “protect the family image”) did the best she could at the level of consciousness she was at (& also based on the programming she received) – to *motivate/inspire* “good/better behavior.” In hindsight, it was a weapon of mass destruction whose unintentional target was my sense of self (self-esteem + self-worth) and my ability to make any kind of decisions outside of the context of how I was perceived by others.

& I am not the only one. I feel comfortable saying that a great majority of desis were raised by this completely toxic “foundational principle.” Hence, we are nearly all living dual lives in which we are master actors who care more about how we appear than what we are. To extrapolate (for the duffers out there), we live ONE life behind closed doors at home (our actual, real lives) and then we live a different (to varying degrees) life outside of our homes for public consumption. There are, literally, kids being controlled, abused, beaten, threatened to be killed (for things like choosing their own life partner), disowned, and experiencing infinite other atrocities inside their homes who then put on their (master actor) “face” for the world. Note (to whichever dear Auntie who is so miserable in her own pathetic life that she will feel so compelled to be fake-*appalled* by my sharing): my personal home experience was not as described right above; however, it was one of deep discord amongst my parents and lots of dysfunction which I was actively told (again & again) to “never tell anyone.” Not my then best friend (who I finally told at 27, but had known since I was 4), and I was even coached to never share about “our family things” with my “future life partner” because they would inevitably be used against me.

So what did I do? I (again, none of this was remotely conscious) became an Oscar-worthy actress from a very young age (I’m talking as soon as I had access to language). My parents could massively get into it one moment, and, the very next, we would all be welcoming people into our home for a “function” (or attending one) with big smiles on our faces. Very believable smiles because – as we should all know from life experience – a smile is truly the easiest thing to fake. Another note: if I look back at my childhood and teen to college years, I would have described them as “happy,” because 1) I was too unevolved/basic/trifling to know the difference (I can blame my upbringing for that, &, sure it contributed, but I prefer to own it as my own in order to make forward movement), & 2) I was able to disassociate from my home life (again, at a very young age), compartmentalize and fully make my life all about school, my personal interests, and friends. The interesting thing about that stage of life is that it is so task-oriented – especially as a South Asian who is made to believe that life is nothing more about pleasing one’s parents via performing (again, as a master actor) and delivering “outcomes/results” – and that, too, in such a linear manner that it is very easy to distract oneself with all there is to “get done” (good grades, entry into a good college, good degree, good job, good life partner and, overall – as almost universally used as a measure of – a “good life”). Of course, all of these things are valued only as much as they are worthy of being bragged about to our parents’ peers, because, shoot, if not, did said-perceived-by-the-individual-“kid” accomplishment really even happen?

For those who knew me, I was “killing it” by every one of the above measures straight through the end of college. I never went through any awkward phases growing up, had tons of (mixed-ethnicity) friends, was broadly well-liked and would (as absurd as this word is) be considered “popular” in every phase of school life, was very socially confident/had no problem asserting myself  (I ran for President of a new club as a sophomore against a senior in high school, and won… I ran for President of my class at Boston University and won… I was Secretary & Vice President of India Club in college), was super cultural (I danced – including performing at plentiful family functions – from 6 years old through college where nearly every one of my group’s dances would be the grand finale of each and every India Club show), and I got excellent grades/”marks.” In fact (dear Auntie/Uncle who thinks I’m a duffer or “not successful” because my life does not look like your child’s) got into the #2 physical therapy program in the country (back then), was Dean’s List, and Honor’s Society. Oh, and I finished undergrad in 3.5 years.

All of this (^^^) – being so masterful in disassociation and excelling in every performative and pleasing-to-my-parents/desi-society measure – was the primary reason why no one (least of all me) would have believed that I had any “issues.” However, I assure you that if someone – particularly during my college years and the years that immediately followed – looked at my dating choices or my drinking habits, they would have known! (I guarantee “friends” from back then who never thought to express care or concern back then are reminiscing how they used to judge me back then), & haan ji/yes, dear Auntie and Uncle, nearly ALL of your kids dated/drank or ARE dating/underage drinking, but we just all lied/lie to you about it because your parenting created ZERO context to be able to tell you ANYTHING because we know our sharing anything will be used against us; again, more weapons of mass destruction…

Sorry, I digressed and now back to my friends… Oh boy, how I LIVED FOR my friends (even those who may no longer be in my life). I was always doing anything I could to be at their homes after school versus mine, and it always bothered my mom deeply that I “put them first” or “cared more about them.” At that time, I honestly did. They were my escape – particularly, in those homes that seemed so different than my own like my one friend whose home I went to nearly every Wednesday “to study” (like stated right above, master actors are also master liars, but that’s a future post) but, in actuality, I just went there to watch 90210 and Melrose Place (she was mind-blowingly ALLOWED), eat dinner, laugh with Uncle and Auntie, and feel at peace in my (in my mind) alternate reality family. My whole life was about escape, but I had no actual awareness of this because no parent of mine (again, this is not me “blaming them”) was 1) thinking about the impact their issues were having on me (my brother was born of a completely different – like not typical for any child or human – “zen” nature where nothing seemed to impact him, but that wasn’t the case with me where I so desperately just wanted everyone to get along and be happy) & 2) remotely aware of any other aspect of my life (revert back to the completely garbage humans I was dating and the excessive amounts I was drinking because all they saw was their “good beti” with a 3.8 GPA and they were incapable of even considering that there could be so much more than what they saw. Read as: WHAT I PRESENTED as the master actor that I was.

So… that is what it was (for me) and what I know it is for countless others (particularly, countless generations younger than me who are living through all kinds of things and feel their only outlet is either silence or anonymous posts via groups on Facebook). Note: I am NOT knocking the value of the anonymous posts; I know they are, literally, saving people’s lives, but it will forever break my damn heart that desi community is so deeply broken that – even in the midst of great suffering – the thing one feels they need to worry about the most is “what other people will think/might say.” & I honestly would have done anything to have had these kinds of spaces when I was growing up (which I waited to mention until now was in the 80s as I’m 40 years old), but I am so glad that younger generations have them now.

On that note, I am someone who so deeply believes that – for those of us feel comfortable in sharing (hiya!) – it is our responsibility to share our experiences to “pay it forward” in an effort to spare others from having to experience the same. Accordingly, you will be seeing lots more #DearDesis-themed blog posts, and you can follow me at my public Smita Shares page and/or my personal page (I’m #sorrynotsorry, but I cannot accept friend requests without context for safety reasons from the above DV situation).

Anywho… as always, I am so grateful to anyone who takes the time to read/watch what I have to say, and, although I am signing off for now, if you are interested in other posts by me, please feel free to check out posts from 11 years ago about South Asian Dating or some more light/”fun” (maybe trifling?) stuff like my favorite things (#zencrack – which keeps me sane during these especially cray times, magnetic eyelashes, heated hair cap, standing desk, etc)

Love and light,

 

 

 

 

 

 

Okay, I am going to get right to it, because time is LIFE,  and my ranty posts are long enough so my “stuff sharing” posts do not need to be.

I am one of those people who takes great care of my face (re: moisture, skin potions, etc.), but – for some odd reason – never my body and definitely not my feet. As a result, one of the things I often experience is extreme dryness of my feet and that feeling of tough, calloused skin. It ain’t cute on any level of life, and – while I know that, as a woman, I am supposed to suggest every inch of my body is soft like a baby’s touch and fragrant like flowers and free of cellulite, scars, and stretch marks, I am not about that (liar AF) life.

Accordingly, at least twice a year – a few weeks before flip flop season and immediately following its completion – I do these foot peels, and they are BLEEPING AMAZE. Like, disturbingly so. You will spend a day or so thinking, “ugh… this isn’t working… this isn’t working and then, BOOM, YOU ARE A GDANG LIZARD SHEDDING ALL YOUR SKIN! Like, EVERYWHERE. Legit, I cannot say enough how much skin peels (all into your socks, all over your sheets, all over the carpets…) and how both fascinating and absolutely gagworthy it all is. Side note: If you’re married/with kids/live with other humans, you may want to give them a heads-up so they don’t freak out thinking you’ve got some skin disease (people get skin diseases, and that’s okay – this is not me making fun – but no reason for someone to think you have one and be worried if you don’t)

The below are – not even embarrassed – MY FEET.  😯

I have tried several now – 4, to be specific (see proof from my Amazon order history) below – so I highly recommend just going with the one I’m recommending and that has 3350 reviews with an average of 4.5 stars. Note: If you have had a sensitivity to AHA (alpha hydroxy peels) in the past, definitely consult with a physician before trying.

So here’s my fave: 2 peels for $29.99 ($10 coupon at present; price changes frequently)

& here are some best use tips:

  1. Open one packet (= one pair) and review what you have received. There will be plastic booties that have the exfoliating solution inside. Do not open yet. Have everything you need for the whole process around you and figure out what movie or show you will be watching; I say this after being ill-prepared my first time (like stupid ish like soaking my feet but not having a towel or wearing my peel booties but not having socks, and it was all very annoying)
  2. Soak feet. Wash your feet with soap to get rid of any lotions, oil, sweat, dirt and then soak in warm water for anywhere to 15-30 minutes. Some people use a pumice to lightly exfoliate the top layer. Dry your feet. Some people also do a swipe of alcohol after soaking to make sure not a lick of anything to come between to you and the peel although I have never personally done this.
  3. Open one peel bootie at a time as per instructions. Wear comfortable longer length socks over the booties. This is a MUST in my opinion. First, it ensures safety should you – for any reason – need to get up during the peeling process. &, second, it (at least so I feel) helps maximize contact of the peel solution against your skin.
  4. I honestly don’t remember what the packaging for this brand says (most suggest at least 20 minutes but at least an hour), but I always let my peel absorb for an hour and thirty minutes to two hours.
  5. Enjoy your movie, show, nap, whatevs.
  6. Take yourself straight to a tub, remove booties carefully, and thoroughly rinse your feet. This is a must-do step. Dry your feet. Wear socks. Proceed with your day or head to bed.
  7. Don’t use lotion until your peeling process is complete as moisturizing can ruin the effects of your peel. Reminder: PEELING SKIN WILL EVENTUALLY BE EVERYWHERE.
  8. Be patient. Okay, sure, no one is patient re: anything – errbody wants clear skin in 24 hours and to drop 10 lbs in a week; it is just how humans are (I was this way) – and it is a dang shame. Few people people quickly while most peel starting in a few days. I personally like to resoak my feet in warm water on the second day and again throughout as I feel like this helps move things along.
  9. *Don’t pick at your peeling skin* Errmm… That’s what they SAY. Real talk, I could not resist picking at my skin. You do you, boos and don’t blame me no matter what you do.
  10. Your feet could be sensitive during this process – not typically in general – but, perhaps, if you go to Mexico and walk on hot sand sans flip flops or some other unlikely sitchu.

K, enjoy, my frands and please report back! (Search for #footpeelfeedback and holler on the original post). For more of my favorites see right below (scale, heated hair cap, magnetic eyelashes, etc.) and for even more in the future, please stay tuned by liking Smita Shares.

Until next time,

 

 

 

 

Magnetic Eyelashes

Blue Light Blockers

Teeth So White Because

Portable Standing Desk (Haven’t sat while working in 2 years)

Heated Shower Cap (Helps hair masks/oils penetrate)

Biometric Scale 

* Disclosure: Smita Shares is a participant in the Amazon Services LLC Associates Program, an affiliate advertising program designed to provide a means for sites to earn advertising fees by advertising and linking to Amazon properties.  Amazon, in turn, offers a small commission on products sold through their affiliate links. Each of your purchases via our Amazon affiliation links supports my being able to share the things I love (& genuinely personally use and recommend to friends and family) at no additional cost to you

What about sponsored content? 
I do not write sponsored posts.  I want to bring you real, unbiased information.  However, if a post is sponsored by a company, I will disclose this clearly in the beginning of the post. 

As for my social media pages where I use Amazon & other affiliate links for product recommendations, I will include a link to this post, or put “(affiliate link)”, or #ad in the post. 

So, as most of you know, my 40th birthday just passed, and I am so appreciative that all of my friends and my family honored my request for no gifts this year (it was my first year ever not getting a dang PHYSICAL THING, and I could not have been more thrilled!). For those of you who don’t know me personally, I have spent a whole lot of time over the past 2 years doing a massive purge of STUFF from my life after becoming hyperaware that I had this super odd (kinda disturbing #totesgotitfrommymom) attachment to THINGS which was born from a deeply ingrained scarcity mindset; this exercise of purging has been powerful for me because it helped me practice “letting go” in so many ways and, most of all, channeling abundance; for example, in my previous extra-WTF life, I was so extra and bought FOUR of the same-scented oil from Utah (the only difference was the “stone” rollerball), and they were each $50. I just barely used ONE over the course of a year, so I made it a point to – fell swoop and with little thought – give away 2 of them to friends who were embarking on big life changes.

I very much so now know that gifts are not my love language and the giving and getting of stuff – while I still love to give gifts to my nephew and niece – is simply not my jam, which is why I’ve become a big fan of the “No gifts please” that most of us brownies (what I call South Asians) have seen for years on wedding invitations. At first, I thought it was kind of off-putting like, “ew, these people are asking for money,” but – in reflection – it made a lot of sense to me. Sure, there are bridal registries and all kinds of things that one can register for (if you’re into that kinda thing), but, real talk, does a new couple really need the stress of figuring out a shit ton of THINGS they think they might need (for example, all new china that they likely won’t use ever), OR could they (if one feels so inclined and without, in earnest, having any expectation) use some funds as they start their new lives together? I know some people put a certain price tag to this “exchange” like – if their function is at this hall/hotel/venue – then they must have spent $75-150/person so a person should gift the equivalent &, to that, I say “hell no.”

I believe that people who are inviting someone to their event – that they are having OF THEIR OWN CHOOSING wishing to celebrate THEMSELVES – should not expect anything “in return” as if an invitation is some kind of odd transaction where one is “paying” to attend the person’s event. Nope, not into that. Accordingly, I believe someone can say something like “no gifts please” hoping that – if someone feels so inclined – they may gift $ versus stuff, but one should not have any expectation around it or judge someone if they don’t do it. Truly, if I ever invite you to anything of mine – no matter what is written on the gdamn card – please feel free to show up “empty-handed,” because, if I invited you to something, it is because I want you there in earnest and I promise there will be no negative marks on our “friendship *scorecard*” (a thing I feel many people have) if you don’t pay for your *fair share* to attend MY EVENT THAT I CHOSE TO HAVE. *eye rolllllll*

On that note, on my 40th, I’m cordially inviting you to my “birthday bash-bridal shower-bachelorette party-wedding-baby shower-kids’ birthday” that I, quite possibly, am not ever going to have (that is not some statement of depression but more me not wanting to have any of those things if I can spare myself as – if “marriage” is in my future – I would love to elope one day, would rather die than have a bridal shower, feel bachelorette parties shouldn’t be $1000+ investments – nor should weddings, and baby showers where people open gifts and ish just weird me out).

I was recently informed of a scene from Sex In The City where Carrie is shamed for her shoe collection, and she goes on to say, ” If I don’t ever get married or have a baby—what?” she asked Charlotte over frozen yogurt. “Think about it: If you are single, after graduation, there isn’t one occasion where people celebrate you…. I am talking about the single gal. Hallmark doesn’t make a ‘Congratulations you didn’t marry the wrong guy’ card. Where’s the flatware for going on vacation alone?” She then proceeds to “get married to herself”

Now, I’m not doing all of that – not in judgment – but I don’t understand the obsession with marriage at all, which is interesting considering I spent my whole life believing that taking part in the social construct of marriage was one that was required for me to have a “good/happy life.” What I am, however, doing is a “HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO ME, DOING ME & LIVING MY BIG SCARY DREAMS” *party.* &, alas, anyone who “attends” will not be getting cake, spanakopita, paneer, or any other food sexiness. There will also be no open bar or “shots, shots, shots!” as the DJ drops a beat and we dance into the night. What you do get is honestly more of the same of what you have been already getting/what I try to put out into the world:

  • Me living my most authentic, unapologetic life sharing my very real hard times along with my awesome ones.
  • My reflections and insights on human nature, mistakes I made, things I wish to be better for young people (all people), and more.
  • Tons of feel-good & inspo stories.
  • Lots of LOLZ & JOY.
  • Tons of real talk
  • On that note, the continued emotional labor of talking about the things that most people don’t want to talk about (understandably, because the person who speaks their mind unapologetically and makes people aware of truths is always persecuted) – whether that is domestic violence, women’s issues, social issues, my struggles with body dysmorphia/weight obsession, issues with network marketing, what ails society, and more. I have been doing the aforementioned – at a great personal cost which I have accepted knowing that my sharing is important – for more than 7 years and it is truthfully exhausting. Yes, I know no one “makes me “do any of this and I choose it every day, but – kinda like you choose your wife/husband, kids, your life – this is what I’ve chosen for myself in (hopeful) service to others/the greater good and as something I wish I had “growing up.”
    • Side note: f you are a new(er) friend, back in 2012, I became something I never expected to become (a domestic violence survivor) and – upon learning that my ex who had tried to destroy my life had done the same to 7 women before me – I spoke up about it pre-#metoo. Some shares born from that time include: Truth Alone TriumphsMost of Us Are Joe Paterno, Why I Didn’t Report, Dear Movara Fitness Resort (this was something I wrote after being sexually harassed at a place I once worked)
  • Me “going for it” with “it” being my big, “crazy,” scary #DesiEllen dreams. Since I was terminated from my network marketing role for speaking out about MLM, I have been recruited by over 20 companies – one of which even flew me out to their corporate office in Utah – and I have, in spite of knowing that joining any company could mean $4-6000 in my pocket with a quickness, saying “no” to every single opportunity, because I am trusting my gut that – as has happened in the past – these “opportunities” are really distractions to the big thing I believe I am meant to do, so I refuse to let my financial fears derail me as it has (resulting in tolerating and suffering so much that I cannot stand and do not agree with) in the past whether it was with pharm sales or direct sales.
    • Of course, no one other than yours truly is responsible for making my “going for it” happen, so there is no expectation, pressure, obligation, or worries. However, if you are so inclined, I’m accepting “no gifts please” gifts (don’t want to call them “donations” because the energy around that word is all wonky and based in lack) that I will specifically use in India during my travels towards the costs associated to my speaking arrangements/service endeavors. Read: If you see me posting about paneer every third minute when I’m kicking it at my family’s homes, your gifts won’t be sponsoring all of that.

On that note, should anyone be so inclined – whether it is $5/10 or anything beyond – I’m including links below and would be forever grateful. That being said, if that is not something you can do or want do, totes cool and understandable, and perhaps you’ll consider the absolute free “gift” of liking my sharing page knowing that I am someone who, in earnest, supports others following their dreams and taking the path less traveled: https://www.facebook.com/SmitaShares/ and/or please let me know if there is anyone you may be able to connect me to in the Motherland who may be able to help me on my endeavor to have as many opportunities to speak to pre-marriage young people (kids, college kids), women of all ages, and, really, just any audiences ever as I think I have an interesting and compelling lens to offer on many topics.

Huge thank you in advance to anyone who chooses to support me on this endeavor. On that note, that’s all from me for now as I prepare for my trip like WHOA and thanks always for reading.

Love & light,

,

 

I am sharing this post in tandem with my originally shared post, “Dear Movara Fitness Resort,” and here are my disclaimers:

  1. Allegedly. Everything I’m sharing here is based on my own values (which have evolved greatly even in the past year) and personal experiences and should, therefore, not be taken as factual anything. Yes, I know: it is absolutely mind-blowing that a blogger would preemptively negate what they are sharing, but I like to present a balanced view.
  2. I share many things in the space of health and wellness – for example, a technology that I have used to transform how I exist in and show up in this world that I call #zencrack, supplements (including alternates to a network marketing company I used to be with), gadgets like this scale I love, and more – but these are the things I personally use and share AFTER getting to a place of personal power and post-restoration of sanity, which I absolutely did not possess for the 20 years in which I partook in diet culture as well as 2+ years following my very first visit to Movara Fitness Resort in May of 2016.

I truly thought that post-Movara me was woke AF – like as in this video share that I did on the topic – and had blessed and released her obsession with weight, and I supposed I, in many ways, had, but here’s the deal… my doing that had nothing to do with Movara which is a place that – see below – fully advertises as being a weight-loss resort.

&, based on ^^ (& my entire experience of the place both as a guest and staff member), Movara caters to people who are going there primarily for the purpose of losing weight (versus just a fitness vacay). Most – if not all – people who visit Movara have felt that they have “tried it all” to no avail (shoot, I even helped in the creation of this YouTube ad titled, “Why Staying With Us Will Change Your Life”), and, therefore, going to the resort as a “last resort/option.” They believe that the only way in which they can feel like they are having any success/achieve a “result” (which is the goal – never to actually be healthy or SANE as it relates to your body) is to do something so extreme which means leaving their actual lives entirely and being in a perfectly controlled environment where they have zero real-life stress (full housekeeping and complete meal and snack preparation) and exercising for anywhere from 4-6 hours a day (if not more, depending on what an individual does in excess and there are many who do way more than the program offers).

Before continuing, visiting Movara is NOT CHEAP; I spent $10K in my first 4-week visit – including flights, shuttles, services, coaching, and the stay itself) – following everything post-the events of 2012 in which I became a DV survivor and had piled on 40 lbs living through extreme PTSD and depression.  See image right below for current prices. 

The people visiting Movara are mostly rather well-to-do financially and are, therefore, even able to afford visiting such a place. Also, for a moment, consider a place that suggests that it will “change your life” (the format suggests in just one week) but which also offers special rates of “4 weeks or more.” Essentially, and especially for people with the financial means who feel the most at their wits end in regards to their struggle with weight, they incentivize them to stay for longer and, shoot, they benefit so greatly from people who, more or less, decided to practically live there (I’m not sure if they have made them, but – at one point – they were considering creating small individual living spaces that people could purchase entirely for this purpose).

I mean… if one’s life was so changed, why wasn’t the one-week stay enough? I will tell you why in my humble opinion.

  1. Movara (& nearly everyone in the space of health and wellness) does not benefit from your life actually being changed and you actually being well. Like for reals and for perpetuity. There’s no MONEY to be made in our actually being well and not feeling like we are in perpetual chaos and angst over our physical forms (which it is always about that arbitrary # on the scale and your aesthetic versus ACTUAL “health and wellness). *Pause for another disclaimer* Note: for those who may feel so compelled to call me out on my own hypocrisy: Dudes, I’m aware of my own and love to talk about it. YES, I share the above-mentioned – from which I make an income and all in the context of “health and wellness” – but, hell, if I could magic wand erase the entire condition which compels people to need/want any of those things I share (fully knowing I would lose that income), I WOULD. In a heartbeat. People >>>> profit all day errday and, if you have known how I have done any of the businesses I have shared over the past 6 years (or if you even knew me at Movara and how things ended), you will know that I’ll never chose comfort and convenience over my values as, unlike far too many people, they aren’t (nice-to-say-out-loud-and-have-people-think-I’m-great) hobbies for me.
  2. Instead, Movara fully benefits and takes advantage of how magical and “feel good” your experience is there and they very much so banks on you forming personal relationships with them (the owners) and the staff; it is part of the charm of the experience, and it is these relationships that compel people just as much as the resort itself. If they really wanted to empower you to for reals health and wellness, the whole program would be intro’d with (& re-emphasized constantly) as NOT being about “this place, this program, or these people” &, rather, about YOU showing up, making the investment into your health, and doing all of the work. THAT would be empowering you and inspiring you to maintain power for yourself; what actually happens – including their reckless & purposefully having no boundaries between staff (many who are not qualified to serve in the roles they serve or to counsel people as they do) & guests.
  3. Movara – which has you weigh-in and take photos upon arrival (while also claiming “it isn’t about weight”) – wants you to “get a big number”/”result” during your stay there, because they know – as everyone in the weight loss industry knows – that there is NOTHING that people want more than that freaking number on the scale going down. If you get that big number, then you will believe that it was all “worth it” and a great success. However, no one likes to talk about – as happens for so many – water weight & muscle mass is  lost,  how unrealistic – even potentially harmful – it is for people who are being that active to only be eating 1500 calories a day, and they will explain it all away. That number is so intoxicating and addictive, I mean… who wouldn’t absolutely delight at losing 5-8 lbs in ONE WEEK (something they “could never do at home on their own”) Note: I was an outlier (#lifetheme) and extended my stay based on how I felt (which was still HUGELY PROBLEMATIC) at Movara versus the scale as I – old mindset belief alert – “only lost 2 lbs” in my first week and “just 8” total in 4 weeks there. I’m pretty positive that most people would find those numbers to be a massive fail for their time at a fitness resort, but I had wisened up to the # on the scale and body composition big time. Note: the below is me being SO OVER THAT NUMBER.
  4. Movara does not care at all – nor do they have any practical interest in caring – that absolutely NOTHING about the program is remotely realistic or sustainable (including that big weight loss # you saw on the scale that they know you’re now addicted to); I would say about 95% of folks who go to Movara are or become return guests, and so many who find themselves having regained “all of the weight they lost at Movara” (or for a short duration after) and often much more thereby rendering them to SO WRONGLY BELIEVE that Movara is HOW/WHERE (read as: the only place) they can be successful at this thing that has haunted them for so long.
  5. In spite of its “lectures” (which were great when I was first a guest and then included mostly people from the owners’ church throwing up quote memes and other nonsense inspo stuff) and purporting otherwise, Movara knows that people are obsessed with their weight (ya know, since the entire health industry – including medical professions – have helped make us insane about it which they, TOO, benefit from) and that the people visiting the resort can afford to make it their crutch for wellness. The individual who I mentioned in my blog post about the sexual harassment sitchu, well, he basically lives at Movara for months at a time. Please explain to me how “Movara has changed his life…” or anyone else’s who feels that they “need” something so extreme to help them be well (which they have wrongly misunderstood to be altering their gravitational pull towards the Earth)

My personal”Movara/fitness resort dysfunction” was so bad that (much of this shared in the last post if that is where you started)… I went for a week, became so extremely addicted to the place/people/experience that I extended my stay for another 3 weeks, and THEN – because I was so EXTRA AND DYSFUNCTIONAL AF – was so convinced that Southern Utah (but really Movara, in particular) was such a critical part of my wellness that I decided that I was GOING TO MOVE TO UTAH (what in the ever loving HECK?! #thatsforyoumormomsreadingthispost :-P).

&, due to my powerful ability to manifest what I want (usually with zero effort & a skill that mostly used to my harm thinking about negative stuff I don’t want to happen), I, legit, manifested the “perfect job” for me at the MFR that magically opened up 2 weeks to the day of my arrival. Oh, and, then… While living in Utah and doing my “dream job,” all of my dysfunctions manifested like crazy because I no longer knew how to eat or trust my intuition around food or fitness; if it wasn’t at Movara (it was like I wanted to be a guest for perpetuity), I didn’t know how to do or manage life at all. Truly, how I lived my life during those 10 months outside of the resort were diametrically opposed to everything the resort stood for (& that I stood for since I represented the resort). That weight I lost? Regained it ALL. & the kicker – because I was not quite yet done with my dysfunctions around this topic – was that, while living through my craziest and most toxic times with my former network marketing company and possessing no REAL TOOLS TO HANDLE LIFE, guess what I decided…? That I “NEEDED” to escape my life/not deal with my actual problems like a GDANG GROWN-UP,” go back to Utah” to a DIFFERENT “wellness resort,” and I DID LIKE THE PHENOMENAL DUMBASS I WAS.

So off to Utah I went and this time to a place called “WellFit Zion” (co-founded by the former partner of the present owners of Movara and it felt great to me that she was basically their nemesis), and – because I was the kind of person who needed to make the same mistake at least twice – I insisted to my brother that I needed to go for a month to “get away” and “get well again.” Well, 3 days into my first effing week, I was there thinking, “WHAT HAVE I DONE?!” but I was still too much of an idiot to try to change my set (& publicly stated) plan to undo it, so I stayed there for 4 weeks (yes, absolutely enjoying myself because, again, WHO TF WOULDN’T ENJOY A HEAVENLY GETAWAY IN GORGEOUS SOUTHERN UTAH?) and it wasn’t until my very last week there that I basically introduced myself to the thing that has (again, not trying to give it all my power because I am the one who showed up and did the work) actually – in the most meaningful way to date – changed my life. For a whopping $549 (this price varies and, if you are so inclined, you can watch my video on my entire experience or check out my blog or just reach out to me (I check my other folder) to find out how you can get a $45 value 45-day trial for $1 and/or get a 2-week trial of the device for just $30). I promise that – of all the people or places you have ever bought/tried something from – I am one of the (if not the) most ethical, because I would rather lose money than do anyone dirty/be deceptive/purposefully manipulative/put profit over people as so many people and businesses sadly do.

& no, the whole point of this blog post was NOT to plug the above. It was to say that… we ALL need to stop giving our power away to people/places/products/programs and anything else when it comes to our health and wellness. Selling stuff with the intention to help people isn’t bad (I mean… errmm… that’s kinda the premise upon each product/service that is being offered/comes out into the market is built upon), but anyone who is  creating a context for you to be dependent on them or what they are selling – as opposed to use it temporarily to help catapult you into the direction of being able to do it without them/everything else – is a FRAUD; every single thing that is actually in the service of our wellness should lead with, “You don’t need this. you can do it all on your own. I can support you but I don’t want to become your crutch.” THAT would be real integrity and honesty in sales which is what I believe in.

Most of all, I wrote this to help all of us RECLAIM POWER. We were born with the innate ability to be well and we were (very much so on purpose) to believe that wellness is something that lives outside of ourselves – that it exists at a fitness resort, in a supplement (& again, I use and share supplements but they are no longer my starting point or a crutch for me), via a coach/trainer/accountability group/health challenge – but this is a LIE that makes other people rich and you poor (or poorer as you spend all of your money and, holy hell, YOUR TIME WHICH MAKES UP YOUR ONE & ONLY LIFE) in this perpetual frenzied pursuit that some pill/product/program/person will save you from you. No. Hell no. I mean… heck no. ONLY YOU CAN SAVE YOU FROM YOU.

& yes, I mean that even if you chose to use ANYTHING that I am sharing because – like I said above – I would (with the greatest joy I have ever known) eagerly give up the sharing of anything if it meant that people were fundamentally (& for reals) WELL. Not less pounds on a scale. Not some bullshit thing called “skinny” or an arbitrary as all get out size (I’m a size 16/XL in kids and can range from a size S-L in women’s clothing).

For me, that TRULY LIFE-CHANGING (ahem, *cough,* versus completely bullshit) shift from giving my power away to reclaiming it (while still giving a healthy shout out to what helped me) has been the most profound experience of my life. I am a 180-degree different human than I was when I – last July – felt I “needed to go to yet another fitness resort.” Note: I am not ANTI-fitness resorts (just like I’m not anti-MLM/direct sales but I digress!) and you may very well see me visiting a spa getaway or a wellness-focused retreat in the future, but you will NEVER see me deciding that that place is my end-all-be-all to my actually being WELL.

Hey all, this post will be brief. If you haven’t heard of/aren’t familiar with blue light, you need to be ASAP. The deal is that the only source of blue light used to be the sun, but now it is all around you, legit, everywhere (think every single thing that has a screen in your life) and includes LED/fluorescent lighting.

Per Bluetechlenses.com, “(Blue light) can cause eye strain, physical and mental fatigue and headaches if you use your electronic devices or sit in front of a computer all day. Our eyes have not evolved to provide filters against this type of artificial light. Prolonged exposure to blue light may lead to macular cellular damage, which may lead to loss of vision.

The medical profession is concerned about exposure level of blue light for adults and children. Here are some interesting statistics:

  • 43% of adults have a job that requires prolonged use of a tablet or computer
  • 74% of teens between the ages of 12 to 17 use electronic devices at least occasionally
  • 70% of adults that regularly use electronic devices report symptoms of digital eye strain
  • 93% of teens have access to or have a computer.”

I kid you not, but – during my life’s most trying times back in 2012 – I remember all of this stuff becoming public about my case (due to my will and choosing to expose my ex and those who were protecting/enabling him), but I still wasn’t prepared for the response that it would generate, so there was one day that I was on my phone for maybe 6 hours in a row just laying in bed, and, all of a sudden, I could no longer see. Not like I was blind, but I couldn’t focus my eyes at all. They hurt and everything was blurry (beyond distance which is what my natural eye sitchu is); I mean, I couldn’t see right ahead of me, and I recall telling my friend in a panic that I had done something to my eyes. Of course, I had; I had strained them with a tremendous amount of unfiltered blue light.

Not only can blue light be harmful to one’s eyes, at night, it can also suppress the secretion of melatonin and disturb our circadian rhythms (perhaps you’re inability to sleep isn’t that you’re “getting old” or some deep, dark underlying health issue but just that you stare at your phone for hours all day and well into the night right until you go to bed).

Some easy ways to help combat blue light include:

  • Reduce time on gadgets as and when possible.
  • Turn apps (like Twitter & Facebook) to “Dark Mode.” (Google to see if you the apps you spend a lot of time on offer this feature).
  • Take breaks and blink your eyes on purpose while working.
  • WEAR BLUE LIGHT GLASSES

K, on that note, you know me: I’m always gonna be as real as reals can be and present all the options. The first is what I personally bought from Amazon and have liked/has worked just fine, but – at the bottom – I’m sharing what I’ve been using ever since I got them. Click on title or images to get to where you want to go.

ANRRI Blue Light Blocking Glasses: Average 4.5-star reviews (of over 1400 reviews); $21.95

For added affordability – you know, perhaps one for you & your boo:

FEIYOLD Blue Light Blocking GlassesAverage 4.5-star reviews (of over 160 reviews); $20.99 (extra 5% off coupon at time of writing on 8/16/19)

One more 2-pack option:

K KENZHOU Blue Light Blocking GlassesAverage 4.5-star reviews (of over 344 reviews); $19.99 (extra 5% off coupon at time of writing on 8/16/19)

WIDER OPTION: Reading Glasses (Can get 0.0 prescription) With Anti-Blue Light, $26.99 (presently 10% off coupon, 4.5 star average review, free returns) 

KIDS OPTIONS (so important!)

Kids Blue Light Blocking Glasses: Blue & Red, flexible, bendable, and unbreakable. 5 star review average (of over 113 reviews). 1 pair for $13.55

Kids Blue Light (ages 3-12); includes a strap option of younger kids (just click through):

K, now what I’ve been using for the past few weeks instead of the very first option (the ones on the left). These feel amazing on my face, and they are CUTE AF. Of course, for being a more fashion-oriented brand, they cost more, but I believe them to be well worth it because I find myself actually going to where them more intuitively. They are presently available for a limited-time intro offer of $39 and will soon be $79. If you are interested, please just email Candace at hellopinklemonadelove@gmail.com

Alrighty, that’s all from me. Protect your peepers, peeps!

Enjoy and, until next time,

 

 

 

 

 

 

* Disclosure: Smita Shares is a participant in the Amazon Services LLC Associates Program, an affiliate advertising program designed to provide a means for sites to earn advertising fees by advertising and linking to Amazon properties.  Amazon, in turn, offers a small commission on products sold through their affiliate links. Each of your purchases via our Amazon affiliation links supports my being able to share the things I love (& genuinely personally use and recommend to friends and family) at no additional cost to you

What about sponsored content? 
I do not write sponsored posts.  I want to bring you real, unbiased information.  However, if a post is sponsored by a company, I will disclose this clearly in the beginning of the post. 

As for my social media pages where I use Amazon & other affiliate links for product recommendations, I will include a link to this post, or put “(affiliate link)”, or #ad in the post. 

Hey frands! Many of you saw my recent live video experiment (pic above!) with magnetic eyelashes on my personal Facebook page, and – even though the lashes themselves that I got from Amazon were all the EXTRA – we were all generally a fan of how they turned out and looked (I mean, eyelashes to your eyebrows can certainly be a look for a glam night or photo sesh).

Before getting into all of ^^, I wanted to backtrack and explain how the above even came about. So, basically, what had happened was… At the end of last year, I decided to buy magnetic eyelashes (the original iteration) from Walmart for, like, $12. I did a live video on those as well, and OH BOY… IT WAS REALLY, REALLY BAD. 1) It was so hard to get the 2 sets of lashes with their magnets to line up and get your actual lashes to click BETWEEN THEM. 2) In spite of the difficulty, I thought I had kinda sorta nailed it, but – in actuality (as my friends LOL’d every time I looked down) – I looked like THIS (& had no idea until I watched later!):

I then started seeing ads for “LIQUID EYELINER magnetic eyelashes” on Facebook and – as creepily happens – magnetic eyelashes became my entire feed! After saving 22 different ads and creating an EXCEL SPREADSHEET (I’m nothing if not extra and efficient), I determined what deals were the most bang for your buck; those are on the bottom with links. However, if someone just wants to go with Amazon and the items below with their “FREE RETURNS” options (I cannot speak to the return policies of any of the other non-Amazon companies), then those links are first. The main difference is that the non-Amazon options seem to offer more variety presently (I will continue to revise this if I see better deals on Amazon or otherwise).

Note: Moxie Lash is selling single pairs for $80! Y’all, when it comes to ANYTHING YOU BUY ON THE INTERWEBS (even stuff being plugged by your most trusted friends including yours truly), do your due diligence, and RESEARCH. Go to Google, Amazon, survey your friends, or whatever.

POST-ORIGINAL SHARE EDIT: The below are absolutely options to still explore but I now, exclusively, use this brand: Lash Liner. I simply found the quality, the anchors, and the ability to reuse the lashes up to 30 times to be ideal. Pics of me below with Seattle (upper left), Portland (every day look, top right) and Chicago (the wow factor, bottom two).

K, so here we go on Amazon offers! (Be sure to read the instructions both in the packaging and reviews for anything you purchase to get the best experience. Also, def let the liner dry and apply it thick enough or twice if necessary. The liquid eyeliner can be removed with any regular makeup remover, and it seems that most lashes can be trimmed.

Note: I have NOT tried all of the above except the very first one. I had also included 2 links previously to Amazon items that I have since tried and REALLY did not like, so I returned them and deleted them from the blog.

The One That I Used (so EXTRA & long but fun for something glam!): One set, $29.99, great reviews, excellent quality, free returns: https://amzn.to/31mFmhK

Three sets (1 pair 5 magnets; 2 same pairs of 3 magnets intended for outer lash; allegedly waterproof/smudgeproof, #freereturns, $29.99): https://amzn.to/2yCln24

Three full sets (all different density/volume/length, allegedly waterproof & smudge-resistant; $25.99; don’t see this as being free returns): https://amzn.to/2YEcsrx

 

If you DO end up trying any of the above, I would love to hear from you and know what you think!

Enjoy and, until next time,

 

 

 

 

 

* Disclosure: Smita Shares is a participant in the Amazon Services LLC Associates Program, an affiliate advertising program designed to provide a means for sites to earn advertising fees by advertising and linking to Amazon properties.  Amazon, in turn, offers a small commission on products sold through their affiliate links. Each of your purchases via our Amazon affiliation links supports my being able to share the things I love (& genuinely personally use and recommend to friends and family) at no additional cost to you

What about sponsored content? 
I do not write sponsored posts.  I want to bring you real, unbiased information.  However, if a post is sponsored by a company, I will disclose this clearly in the beginning of the post. 

As for my social media pages where I use Amazon & other affiliate links for product recommendations, I will include a link to this post, or put “(affiliate link)”, or #ad in the post. 

 

Bug Bite Thing: https://amzn.to/2YGFs1I

 

Enjoy and, until next time,

 

 

 

 

 

* Disclosure: Smita Shares is a participant in the Amazon Services LLC Associates Program, an affiliate advertising program designed to provide a means for sites to earn advertising fees by advertising and linking to Amazon properties.  Amazon, in turn, offers a small commission on products sold through their affiliate links. Each of your purchases via our Amazon affiliation links supports my being able to share the things I love (& genuinely personally use and recommend to friends and family) at no additional cost to you

What about sponsored content? 
I do not write sponsored posts.  I want to bring you real, unbiased information.  However, if a post is sponsored by a company, I will disclose this clearly in the beginning of the post. 

As for my social media pages where I use Amazon & other affiliate links for product recommendations, I will include a link to this post, or put “(affiliate link)”, or #ad in the post. 

For Brows: https://amzn.to/2SFe6rD

For Lashes: https://amzn.to/2LF6DIg

Enjoy and, until next time,

 

 

 

 

 

* Disclosure: Smita Shares is a participant in the Amazon Services LLC Associates Program, an affiliate advertising program designed to provide a means for sites to earn advertising fees by advertising and linking to Amazon properties.  Amazon, in turn, offers a small commission on products sold through their affiliate links. Each of your purchases via our Amazon affiliation links supports my being able to share the things I love (& genuinely personally use and recommend to friends and family) at no additional cost to you

What about sponsored content? 
I do not write sponsored posts.  I want to bring you real, unbiased information.  However, if a post is sponsored by a company, I will disclose this clearly in the beginning of the post. 

As for my social media pages where I use Amazon & other affiliate links for product recommendations, I will include a link to this post, or put “(affiliate link)”, or #ad in the post.